anybody home?

I it's been a good 4 years since I last posted something here... and today...I vow to start again. it was fun and I might not just post dating stories. but I'm back!

lost and found.

it's been almost 6 months since my last post. i don't know what happened. no i didn't get married. i "might" be dating someone...but i use the word dating very lightly.......i will be back. i need to sort things out in this box...

birthday post

so today i turned 36. a lot of people have their lives fulfilled by 36. kids, husband/wife, the house and the bills. happy or not, most 36 year olds are "complete". well, i must say i am very incomplete and there's nothing wrong with that! (for me at least). most people might say..."im sure she's saying that because she's not there, not even close" uhhh..no. unlike a lot of people that i personally know (some tolerate me), i do not need all of those things to "feel complete". of course, every now and then, i get "lonely"...but let's face it, i am 36. end of discussion. :-)

i have found my "single" status to be an advantage. i won't list the usual cliche-ish things (i come and go as i please, i don't have to cook and clean for no one, etc), cause even if i was "attached" i am sure i'd still do those (to some extent). some days i find myself wanting to "date" someone; someone i can hang out with, enjoy their company and then send them home. other days i have no desire in getting myself seriously involved with no one. sometimes relationships are drama-filled. (did i say "sometimes"? gosh i think it's 95% of the time!) and i am not looking for drama, tears, anger, and all other emotions that come with it.

maybe i will find prince charming tomorrow. maybe he will come in 4 years (when i am 40!!! oh lord) but in the meantime, i am not in a rush to hook up with someone (and not the "jersey shore" hook up definition), just to say i am in a relationship, just so i won't be alone. i am not settling for the next suitor (unless his name is Eric Northman or Alcide Herveaux (from True Blood) lol; i am not being picky either- i guess i am not in the "chasing" mood (unless...*evil grin*)- being single might be the pits sometimes, but being in the wrong relationship is hell!

haven't been here at all.

cause im just busy and tired and have no good dating stories to tell. end of story. but ill be back... :-)

do not pass go.

one reason i leave old "datees" (yes datEEs) numbers on my phone is that i know eventually they will call or text after some reasonable time. they will come back and with a vengeance! this is when you should know "who's this calling or texting?"

well franky (old school meets new school post) just texted me two days ago.
of course, in true serial dater form, i ignored his text. remember he was that dude that would text every morning and was very insecure about himself. what made him think i would reply back? umm..yeah. ok.

whenever they try to do the "second time around"...either its for good or forget it. in this case, it is forgotten. if you couldn't deal in the past, what makes you think you can today? do not pass go. do not collect $200.

doormat much?

i have been a little lazy lately-but today i wanted to pose a question.

why do women-a high percentage-play the doormat role so darn well? letting men step on them as they wish. calling them names, abusing them. i know usually it's low self-esteem, but c'mon, its 2010, i know you know someone that has been there or maybe it's even you.

some say it's because they're in love. ok-love makes us do crazy, silly, foolish things. but when that same "love" allows him to yell at you and just plan humiliate you-it's kinda scary. i'm sure abusive relationships start like this.

i started thinking about this while watching "jersey shore" and that sammi and ronnie relationship. she's the doormat. he treats her as he pleases and she's always available. who does that?

what do you think? it could always be the other way around...

mission accomplished?

i was like 23 or 24 years of age when my mom decided to set me up with this boy. you know how this story is going to end right?? ughhh...i love my mommy but who told her that was the right thing to do?

anyways...this boy, his name was javier, was the nephew of one of my mother's co-workers. ahhhh...these women setting up their children. why?? my mom sends a picture of me to javier with his aunt. i guess that was the old-school online dating system. one day she comes home from work bearing a phone number. she was so excited. LOL...so i guess i had to call javier.

i don't like this setting up, blind date kind of thing. makes me uncomfortable because for once, i am not the CHOOSER or the CHOSEE...:-P it's just a set up. i'm telling ya'll.

so i called this boy. he was probably my age. i have no clue-remember, this was in the ancient era of no cell phones, emails, text messages. well we are on the phone, for what i can remember it was a decent conversation. of course, the subject of "when are we going to meet" popped up. oh no. what am i going to say or do? since my mom knows his aunt, we decide to meet at my house.

so javier gets there. he was kind of quiet, maybe even a little bit shy. i immediately shut him off because back then shy, quiet men were not my thing (fast forward 10 plus years and that's my weakness :-P) my mom, being the great hostess that she is, asked if he wanted to eat. i look at her like, why??? he's ready to go. well, javier said yes. and he cleaned his plate too. (somewhat of an FML situation)

so we "keep" talking. don't ask me why. he invited me one day to go to the movies. he picked me up. all the way i was scared for my life because he was a careless driver. later i learned he was just "nervous" ummm ok. (i was being hard on this kid) i remember the movie HE wanted to see. cats and dogs (the first one). he knew i liked cats, but that movie? LOL! NO!

while we wait in line to go inside the theatre-someone approaches him and asks for the time. he had a watch. i had one too. he looks at me like they were speaking klingon. i gave them the time and he just smiled "nervously". oooooh, i'm not liking this.

on the way home, he was even worse, driving-wise. as soon as i got home i said bye and slammed the door.

so you might be thinking, poor javier. jessica never heard from him again.

say what? javier started sending flowers to my workplace. like weekly. i might be different-but i don't like flowers. never have never will. here i am asking myself, why is he sending me flowers? it's not my birthday, not valentine's day. no flowers for me! i would give them to co-workers, sometimes to decorate the office, one time i even took them to my mom that was hospitalized-she knew these were javier's flowers though. :-)

since i never called to say thanks for the flowers, the deliveries stopped. and so javier's desire to "please" me.


fast forward probably 5 years and i saw javier at the mall. he looked my way and you'd swear he saw a ghost. i smiled. mission accomplished??