do not pass go.

one reason i leave old "datees" (yes datEEs) numbers on my phone is that i know eventually they will call or text after some reasonable time. they will come back and with a vengeance! this is when you should know "who's this calling or texting?"

well franky (old school meets new school post) just texted me two days ago.
of course, in true serial dater form, i ignored his text. remember he was that dude that would text every morning and was very insecure about himself. what made him think i would reply back? umm..yeah. ok.

whenever they try to do the "second time around"...either its for good or forget it. in this case, it is forgotten. if you couldn't deal in the past, what makes you think you can today? do not pass go. do not collect $200.

doormat much?

i have been a little lazy lately-but today i wanted to pose a question.

why do women-a high percentage-play the doormat role so darn well? letting men step on them as they wish. calling them names, abusing them. i know usually it's low self-esteem, but c'mon, its 2010, i know you know someone that has been there or maybe it's even you.

some say it's because they're in love. ok-love makes us do crazy, silly, foolish things. but when that same "love" allows him to yell at you and just plan humiliate you-it's kinda scary. i'm sure abusive relationships start like this.

i started thinking about this while watching "jersey shore" and that sammi and ronnie relationship. she's the doormat. he treats her as he pleases and she's always available. who does that?

what do you think? it could always be the other way around...

mission accomplished?

i was like 23 or 24 years of age when my mom decided to set me up with this boy. you know how this story is going to end right?? ughhh...i love my mommy but who told her that was the right thing to do?

anyways...this boy, his name was javier, was the nephew of one of my mother's co-workers. ahhhh...these women setting up their children. why?? my mom sends a picture of me to javier with his aunt. i guess that was the old-school online dating system. one day she comes home from work bearing a phone number. she was so excited. LOL...so i guess i had to call javier.

i don't like this setting up, blind date kind of thing. makes me uncomfortable because for once, i am not the CHOOSER or the CHOSEE...:-P it's just a set up. i'm telling ya'll.

so i called this boy. he was probably my age. i have no clue-remember, this was in the ancient era of no cell phones, emails, text messages. well we are on the phone, for what i can remember it was a decent conversation. of course, the subject of "when are we going to meet" popped up. oh no. what am i going to say or do? since my mom knows his aunt, we decide to meet at my house.

so javier gets there. he was kind of quiet, maybe even a little bit shy. i immediately shut him off because back then shy, quiet men were not my thing (fast forward 10 plus years and that's my weakness :-P) my mom, being the great hostess that she is, asked if he wanted to eat. i look at her like, why??? he's ready to go. well, javier said yes. and he cleaned his plate too. (somewhat of an FML situation)

so we "keep" talking. don't ask me why. he invited me one day to go to the movies. he picked me up. all the way i was scared for my life because he was a careless driver. later i learned he was just "nervous" ummm ok. (i was being hard on this kid) i remember the movie HE wanted to see. cats and dogs (the first one). he knew i liked cats, but that movie? LOL! NO!

while we wait in line to go inside the theatre-someone approaches him and asks for the time. he had a watch. i had one too. he looks at me like they were speaking klingon. i gave them the time and he just smiled "nervously". oooooh, i'm not liking this.

on the way home, he was even worse, driving-wise. as soon as i got home i said bye and slammed the door.

so you might be thinking, poor javier. jessica never heard from him again.

say what? javier started sending flowers to my workplace. like weekly. i might be different-but i don't like flowers. never have never will. here i am asking myself, why is he sending me flowers? it's not my birthday, not valentine's day. no flowers for me! i would give them to co-workers, sometimes to decorate the office, one time i even took them to my mom that was hospitalized-she knew these were javier's flowers though. :-)

since i never called to say thanks for the flowers, the deliveries stopped. and so javier's desire to "please" me.


fast forward probably 5 years and i saw javier at the mall. he looked my way and you'd swear he saw a ghost. i smiled. mission accomplished??

my cake and eat it too?

ralph was the perfect guy. when i say perfect, i mean perfect. for a lot of people he wasn't but he was for me. the first time we went out-he took me to a mexican place. i guess he really knew how to get on my good side. you know i love me a good bowl of endless chips and salsa! :-)

we wouldn't see eye to eye on many things, but he went out of his way to make me happy. ralph was doing everything he could, but in this case i was the bad guy.

i told ralphie from day one that i wasn't interested in him "like that". my heart was set on someone else and i knew we could always be friends. now that i think back, i said that because i knew we were going to get deep into our "friendship". we were going to get emotionally involved and then there was no going back.

we would argue about trivial stuff almost every day. he didn't want to waste his time talking to "just a friend". he wanted more but i didn't. 

so we decided to part ways.

3 months later-we are talking again. so we go out for dinner. guess where? yep-mexican! :-P

this time he was on a mission. he was determined to do whatever it took to be with me. he said and i quote "i can give you all you want". i was still in oblivion. i was hung up on someone else. 

bad news came. that one dude i was so into-came clean with his current situation and our future. in other words, he wasn't seeing or talking to me anymore. :-(

who was there for me to talk and lean on? ralph. now, i was looking for him. now i wanted to be with him.

but it was too late. i was hurting him. he said i needed someone better than him. i said he was good enough. 

to make the long story short, he disappeared. no more calls or texts. i wanted my cake and eat it too. but i was left empty-handed. i guess i earned this one.

nicholas song.

he dedicated this to me. how bold of him right?

going the distance.

this particular story is very recent and i will use REAL facts. (i'm bold huh? LOL)

so i met nicholas like 8 years ago. he was in the military, stationed in my city. we met "online", but 8 years ago there was no match.com or facebook, so i have no clue where exactly we "met". after a few months of chatting and going to the movies, one day he tells me he has to leave. you know how military men are, one day here, over there the next. so he leaves but tells me "we will be back together". awwwww! *barf*

we rarely kept in touch. we would forward those email chains, and during those 8 years he called me ONCE, i really don't know why. i didn't think much of him; and then we found each other on...yeah, you guessed it right, facebook!

we start communicating again. but there were no intentions, just purely platonic; you comment on my status, i liked your pictures, etc. nothing out of the ordinary when you have 500+ friends right?

so i decide to take a trip to washington, dc. i remembered nicholas was stationed in virginia and out of curiosity, i messaged him asking how far he was from DC. well, to my surprise, he was nothing but 2 hours away. and so we started planning to see each other again after 8 years.

here i am in DC. i don't know what's gonna happen. i mean-we are not romantically involved, so i am very casual about it. not a bit nervous about this encounter. when we finally see each other, it might sound cheesy, it felt like we never stopped talking in those 8 years. we felt so comfortable around each other it was creepy. we toured dc, took lots of pictures, had the best time. you might be thinking...but did he stay with you after driving 2 hours from virginia? well, since that was NOT in the plans, we were FRIENDS, i suggested he stayed, but he needed to be a gentleman or i was going to chuck norris his behind. he was a perfect gentleman indeed . it started to feel like a movie. boy meets girl. boy treats girl like a queen. boy asks girl to marry him. the end.

well-it was time to go back home. we decided to stay in touch more, not just through facebook. one day, nicholas messages me saying that he liked me "more than just a friend", but since i showed no interest, well, he didn't know how interested i was in him. so it happened that i was very interested in him as well, but i thought we were just good buddies. wow. ok, so the movie continues.

we start messaging each other ALL DAY EVERY DAY. we talk on the phone, we text. you name it. two weeks before the end of the year, nicholas mentions that he is being sent to the middle east for as long as 6 months. :-( yeah, there goes the movie. but he insists that we should keep our "friendship" alive. through emails, pictures, facebook, you name it. we were going the distance.

i must say i am no fan of long distance relationships. a small percentage of couples have succeeded in this endeavor and i'm always skeptical about it. i remember we agreed in not taking it serious, but work towards something that would become official. of course, i continued my dating life-he doesn't need to know-and i am pretty sure he continued his, even in the circumstances he was in.

he dedicated songs to me. deep, meaningful songs, i was like "whoa, he serious about this". he would call me his future mrs.nicholas. i was in cloud 17!

the communication continued for the next 6 months. then one morning in june, nicholas sends me a message that i was not expecting. when i saw the preview of the message i knew it was something important. in his message he was "announcing" to me that in the upcoming days i was going to see posts on facebook regarding his relationship status. he wanted to be the first one to tell me that he was "in a relationship" and of course this relationship wasn't with me, myself and i. he went on to explain how he needed to give this other woman the opportunity because she is "very nice". and that the last thing he wanted to do was hurt me.

big freaking deal. i wasn't hurt at all because remember, we were not in a relationship, i wasn't in love. but i was hopeful. i was counting the days for his return. he was coming straight here to see me. i was very ANGRY. angry because even if i didn't stop dating, i wasted my time and didn't give a second chance to better men that came my way during those 6 months. i shut everybody off. because i was living off of a dream. a dream that came a reality. but for another woman.

nicholas has never responded to my one and only message. i must admit i probably sent one other message with a quote about "lies and deceit". :-P but i moved on and i am so sure this will always live with him and his new relationship probably will never succeed.

so what is the moral of my story? no i won't say i don't believe in long distance relationships and men are liars (even though i really believe that). choose with your heart. you know what's best for you. just make sure that the one you give your heart to is doing the same to you. and more.

every other blog.

this is just a random/vent post. every time i try to go on a "networking" trip all around blogger, every other blog i find it's some random family diary or journal-"bill and rose musings", "the smiths from ohio", etc...
i know i know, blogging is open to everyone and every topic there is-but i am trying to find people with more or less my same viewpoints, i cannot share cake recipes or the best potty training technique. in the meantime..i'm sure that my "silent" followers enjoy our stories-remember everything here is real-names and some facts have been changed to protect the little people! ;-)

(it says "blog" if you can't read hands) :-)

lindsay's song- Life Is A Highway

life is a highway (lindsay 2.0)

contribution by anonymous dater:

Lindsay met a guy through a friend and in typical Lindsay fashion she began planning her wedding and perfect life with 2.5 kids and a dog... immediately. There was only one problem… Charles lived in another state, over 5 hours away. Long distance relationships can be successful and she was determined to be on that side of the statistics. Lindsay proposed they meet the last weekend of each month at whatever point between them was convenient for Charles. Charles was not as interested in pursuing a relationship as Lindsay so He picked a point that was about an hour drive for him and 7 for Lindsay. She quickly agreed! The problem that arose was that Lindsay had very poor night vision and getting off work at 5pm and hitting the road would be dangerous for her. Waiting until Saturday was not an option. So on the last Friday of each month, Lindsay called in sick. And would hit the interstate around noon in order to make it right before Chuck so she could freshen up and be ready for the weekend’s festivities which were usually dinner, movie, shopping and SEX. Lindsay footed the bill because she really liked Charles. Charles allowed Lindsay to pay for everything because he knew Lindsay really liked him and wanted interested in Lindsay for anything other than what he couldn’t get out of the situation, not to mention Charles was married and currently separated from his wife (which Lindsay knew). Month four was planned out as normal, Charles arrived empty handed, no overnight bag. He forgot it in his rush to work that morning because he was running late. Lindsay had the whole weekend planned and he would need fresh clothes so she took Charles shopping. One thing that Lindsay and Charles had in common was a love for the finer things in life, so they would definitely not be patronizing Wal-Mart or Target or even Marshall’s… Straight to Macy’s they go where Lindsay purchased 3 outfits for Charles (down to his boxers and socks). Charles is thankful and pays Lindsay with compliments on her beauty and of how lucky he is to have her in his life. During month 5, Lindsay starts to encourage Charles to relocate to be closer to her which immediately chokes Charles and he attempts to slow things down. They make arrangements for their usual rendezvous and on this weekend, Lindsay arrived Friday evening as usual. She waited and waited for Charles arrival. He wasn’t answering his phone, returning texts… No word. Lindsay panicked and called their mutual friend to see if he’d heard from Charles. He remarked not knowing the depth of the “relationship” that he’d gone to happy hour with Charles and he’d said he was heading home for the evening. What was going on? She began to cry, those tears lasted all night. Charles was a no show. Lindsay couldn’t face that long drive home just yet so she said in her suite for the weekend to gather her thoughts. And who comes a calling Late Saturday evening, Charles. Lindsay is so glad that he didn’t stand her up completely that she forgets about the lonely night and runs to his arms. While laying in bed after sex (making love in Lindsay’s mind), Charles tells Lindsay that he can no longer see her. He’s going to work things out with his wife. Please don’t call or email.

Is Lindsay a sucker for love?

top 10 first date no-no's

just for fun, i'm compiling this top ten no-no's-all from personal experience (some i've done-oops). who knows, maybe i'll end with more or less than 10-but the title sounds catchy enough! ready?

10. leave your cell phone in your pocket. let it vibrate. when he/she is not looking or has excused him/herself to go to the restroom, take a peak at it. unless it's a life or death situation or the IRS calling, having a second date with your phone is not only rude, but shows lack of interest on your part.

9. dinner AND a movie is good. JUST a movie is not. why would i want to go out and watch the latest stallone flick on a first date? (yes, there's a recent one) do you really know me that well that we are already watching my "favorite" actor in a dark, cold environment where there's no room for mind-blowing conversation? yeah. no. next date will depend on what we engage after the movie-and it's nothing physical!

8. so what are you doing later on? i'm here with you now dude. no need to rush. let's see how this one goes and then we'll plan our next move, k?

7. i just friend requested you on (insert social network here). you won't get the "accept" until after a few dates. i don't want you to know my every move and browsing my pictures and saving them to your "hard" drive. (oh god this happened once!)

6. me, me, me. when there's only one subject and the subject is you, yeah, i see how interesting and fair this possible relationship could be. if i want to hear your life story all over again, i'll just stalk your facebook page. (muahahahaha) <----evil laugh

5. what is that on your face? so you failed to take a shower and your clothes look like they are having a fight with the iron. first impressions will always last. yes, you might be playing the "i'm comfortable around you" card, but if this is today-what am i supposed to expect by date 3?

already at number 4? this is getting good...

4. my money is kinda funny. i know we are in a recession. and everyone is struggling. but if you invite ME to dinner and a movie and then tell me you forgot your wallet at home, you might as well go home and get it. not being a gold-digger because i am far from that, but if you are honest and upfront about the situation from jump, i might even pay for the entire date. why you gotta lie about the wallet? what's next? your dog ate the credit card?

3. i like talking walks in the park. oh really? let's do that after dinner and maybe when the weather is cool outside. i like to get in touch with nature and people watch, but for our first date i would expect something less active and more proactive. plus, this better not be your idea of a "cheap date"...LOL (ok i'm starting to sound like a gold-digger)

2. let's have a few drinks and then? alcohol sounds good. i'll even meet you for happy hour. but please, do not come with the intentions of getting me drunk so i'll end up seeing how "interesting" you are. let me make that decision.

and the number one first date no-no (at least in my book):

1. let's meet at your place. two words HELL NO! nothing conducive to a possible relationship can come out of this. all you want is to duck, duck, goose (inside joke/code word for sex). and this might eventually happen... LOL... but not today. not with you.

lindsay 1.0

so lindsay meets mr.x for the first time while they went on a road trip with friends. she's the kind of girl that will play the damsel in distress thing to perfection, just so she can attract her prey. mr.x seems to be the kind that won't fall for that, but being the man that he is, he went along for the ride.

so they arrive to their destination. she has laid out the game plan for a few hours in the car. now it's time for action! but what lindsay fails to recognize is that mr.x is a master at this. and she will be his prey. they flirt, they talk, they start a "friendship". something that lindsay easily turned into a "relationship". this relationship was one-sided. yes, mr.x gives her the attention she wants, but on his own terms.

now, a lot of women fall for this. they feel the need to have some sort of companionship, even if it's for a few hours. they will go to extremes to show the man that they care about him. and they get blinded by the affection he's giving. this is when we-i must admit i have done this maybe once in my life-forget about the real world and our world revolves around that one man. why not get a puppy instead?

for the people in lindsay's social circle-she was in a relationship with mr.x. for the people that really knew them both-she was the one "obsessed". an obsession that she created herself. and a heartache that she brought on herself. many people close to them both, advised her not to take that step. but lindsay was in love. she needed that to feel complete and become a whole woman.

what do you think about one-sided relationships? most women fall for this and act like complete fools, while the entire world is looking at them like that-FOOLS. who's at fault here? the person that falls in love unconditionally-or the person that plays the game (knowing they have shown and stated they're not in it for a serious long term relationship)?

of course, lindsay and mr.x's "relationship" was short-lived. everyone with a sane mind knew it from the start. and who's to blame? lindsay.

the lindsay chronicles

tomorrow we (my guest collaborator anonymous dater and myself) will start on a series of posts about lindsay.


lindsay is your typical 30-something single woman. maybe you know one or two like her. i sure do, maybe we even have a few qualities in common. lindsay's stories are very much alike every other single woman looking for her prince charming. she has made good and bad decisions that have brought her happiness, tears and sometimes even shame. we have all been through the same trials and tribulations-but one thing makes her different. and it's her approach to being attached. having someone to "complete" her and live happily ever after.

and don't think that we are airing someone's laundry on the interwebs. all stories are based off real life-names, dates and other facts are always changed to protect the innocent. any resemblance with someone you may know-it's just pure coincidence.

mr.officer's video

another inside joke...this one's for you anonymous dater.......:-)

mr.officer.

today's scenario is on loan from a good friend-let's call her "anonymous dater":


Well this is the story all about how, I was newly divorced and back on the prowl...

I too ventured into the world of online dating... I mean, why not? I met a guy and we exchanged IMs... had a bit in common so eventually worked our way up to numbers... HE TEXTED ME ALL DAY!!! Which is cool for me because I'm not a phone chic, like I really don't like talking on the phone so if it's not life or death, don't call me... Anyway, I digress... We eventually worked our way up to actually meeting in person... it was cool. He was Tall, Dark, and cute... (notice I didn't say handsome). 


The first time he came over, after work... we sat and talked and talked and talked... and before he left, he gave me a great big bear hug and I melted into his arms... now mind you, it's been a while. So things were off to a great start. He met my friends/fam and everyone was in agreement, He's a good guy. You Go Girl! Whoo hoo... So this goes on for a month. Now, I don't mean to sound crass but he was blowing a sista's back out and I was cool with that! >:-)


 Soon he started to confess things: like he had 3 kids with 3 different mamas... not just the one he told me in the beginning. He worked 2 jobs because child support was kicking his patootie... And here is the KICKER... He was a minister! Like for real... A PREACHER! This caused me to back away and examine the entire situation... If you'll lie to God, I'm not special at all. 


So he disappeared for a whole week. No calls. No emails. No texts. No IMs. Nothing... It was then that I received a text... Who are you and why is your number on my phone bill EVERYDAY at the same time? When my man gets off work? I'm like... WHOA! Who's your man honey? She proceeds to tell me who we were both dating. Only she was LONG-TERM... I mean had years in the game. She gave details: does he say this? did he play this song for you? Has he met your family? And before I could answer a single question... she'd give me the correct response. See, I wasn't the first. I was just the next one in a long line of "other women" that she'd dealt with in that relationship. 


Ready for another KICKER? We became associates... random texts. friend requests on social networks... condolences and prayers during bereavement...and They were married last weekend. He proposed marriage after she found out about me as a way to smooth over the pending breakup and she accepted. While it hurt to be lied to, this fling only lasted a month. I bounced back. I felt sorry for her... *pouring out some for all the good women who fall for sorry ass mofos*

Signed,
Is there a "Daters Anonymous"

im ready?

a few years ago i thought i was. now, as i sit here, i don't think i am. it's all a work in progress. sharing my space and my time with someone else seems like a challenging task. some days im ok with it, others i feel like it's taking forever. but don't fret little girl-it'll happen in due time. nothing ever happens out of season.

joel's song

this became "our song". it was an inside joke, but funny how every time i hear this song-all the memories come back.

sweet lady.

i met joel in a bar close to my house. a place i usually frequent when i want to people watch. he was very loud, maybe because of the environment we were in- "i'm here, you don't have to yell boy", was the first thing i said. he was funny, attentive and courteous. aren't most men when they first meet you? i didn't give him much thought, but we exchanged numbers. he said he lived across town and would be nice to see me again. and so we did a few days later.

our first date was dinner and a movie. classic and lame at the same time. we saw a clichéd horror movie. a slasher film. i guess it was ok for a first date-creepy enough to keep me interested, but not too scary to run me away thinking i'd see joel's face next weekend on america's most wanted. after the movie, we went our separate ways.

we would talk on the phone 3-4 times a day; texts were even more. valentine's day was fast approaching and i was all excited about having a date for V Day! so the day came, and out of the blue my car was acting up. "oh crap!"-i was so upset that i almost blew my v day date. i tend to get aggravated by the smallest things. joel-being the gentleman that he was-asked me to meet him at a gas station nearby. i didn't think much of it-until i got there.

there he was. waiting to save me. we were at a car shop. he managed to get my car serviced while we went on our v day adventure! right then and there i was swept off of my feet! "why is he doing this? i don't know how much this is going to cost me, oh my god!"- i kept second guessing his good intentions. but i never showed him. i even texted one of my friends and her words were "let him do that for you. enjoy it. there's nothing wrong". i kinda agreed, but still-i never had a guy "take care" of me that way. we went on and enjoyed our date. best valentine's day ever!

we continued our "friendship". joel would bring gifts every now and then. now, "i was liking this"-i kept reminding myself. but like everything in life, joel was too good to be true. i was starting to fall for a guy that was "in a situation" like he put it. he wasn't married-he had a child with someone that "didn't pay much attention" to him, but still had feelings for. once i heard this, i knew this wasn't going anywhere. men in "situations" are usually looking for an escape, but with no intentions of seeking a way out. i started to become a little manipulative. who am i kidding? any girl would love to have a guy that caters to her! but joel wasn't feeling my newfound "attitude". he didn't want to be with no one that mirrored his baby's mother. and so joel disappeared. one day,usual morning call. joel had changed his number. without saying a word.

was it my fault? i think so. i became something he didn't see when he met me. i became someone he wasn't looking for. i don't blame him. i wasn't the sweet lady he met and showered with attention. i wouldn't have settled for that either.

old school meets new school.

"good morning beautiful". that's what the text message read every single morning. 7 days a week. "ok" i said to myself. "he's trying to be all nice, a gentleman, but trying too hard"- i thought again. *sigh* any woman would love a 24/7 compliment, why am i complaining? well, here's the story of a lovely lady (me) and a man named franky.

so i "met" franky on one of these online dating websites. i only kept a profile but never actually talked to people. he sent his yahoo info so we started chatting on the messenger. then gave me his number and that's when the texting frenzy began. franky was a tall, handsome man, in his early 40s. had been married before and had a bus full of kids. he even had grandchildren, but that doesn't make him not "dateable". i was willing. but was turned off after the first "conversation".

"i don't think i'm handsome enough"- that was the first thing that came out of his "fingers". me-trying to be the encourager, all nice and sweet (not all the time) replied back with all sorts of compliments and words of support. but this never ended. every other conversation was-"im too fat", "im too tall", "im not worthy", and honestly, it was getting old. i can understand this from most women, that have suffered from low self-esteem for years, but from a grown man? baby no. time to end this. or time to sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. i chose the latter.

i went on and tried to "train" franky. he needed to learn and understand that the way he viewed himself was the way others would view him as well. even if he would seemed receptive to the "advice", he would continue every now and then with the sad, depressed texts. and i wasn't trying to be no dr.phil. and this was a case that definitely needed some professional attention. (we all do sometimes)

eventually i stopped responding to his texts. maybe the fact that we came from different backgrounds, lifestyles and even generations, was a huge deterrent to the growth of our friendship. let alone something more. his old school ways in no way were going to match to my new school thinking.

now franky lives in my cell phone memory. hopefully he found what he was looking for.

karl's song

not his song specifically but a song that reminded me of him. had justin on blast around that time.

a substitute for mom.

as a single woman in my early 30s, weekends are the best platform for my dating agenda. so, on a hot june night i met karl. karl, a tall, funny and ok-looking guy, was standing by the bar. he sparks up a conversation, that i responded with a quirky giggle-sign of either shyness or just playing the game. as the night goes on, and my girlfriends cheer me on from the sidelines, karl and i exchanged numbers.

next step. first date. a few days later he asks me out to dinner. we go to my favorite. mexican. i love chips and guacamole. the weeks go by. and so do the dates. and the chips and guacamole. we attended various events-sports, church, family, you name it. a few months had gone by and i was thinking "maybe he is THE one!"

then lightning struck. "i cannot be far from you baby"-i told myself as if i was telling karl. so we started "staying" at each other's house, once or twice a week, sometimes more.

big time mistake. i took the role of a "wife" a "wife" karl wasn't looking for. i cooked and cleaned. did his laundry and kept his bachelor pad in tip-top shape.

karl wasn't looking for a wife. he was still playing the game at the tender age of 36. he was still going out with friends-co-ed outings that I was invited maybe once or twice. but i said to myself "i need to give him space, let him go out with his people, i'll go out with mine". while he partied, i was home waiting by the phone. omg, can you be any more pathetic?

one christmas, karl took me home to his parents. wow. big step. i wanted to impress the parents so bad, i failed to make a good impression. after this-it all went downhill. karl was a big mama's boy. and i failed to see the signs. mom called everyday. mom kept tabs on who visited his recently-purchased home. mom helped him budget. mom helped him pay the bills on time. karl wasn't looking for a wife. karl was looking for a substitute for mom.

fast forward five years. karl is still single as of press time. and as far as i'm concerned, mom is his main woman.

so i decided.

in the 35 years i have lived on planet earth, i have never felt like a total outcast. either i jump on the dating- in- the- 21st- century- bandwagon (sex by the 3rd date, if you're not lucky, cause it's usually on day 1) or just ride it solo. i am going to share many stories-mine and others on loan-from women that are on a quest. a quest to find happiness. and if prince charming comes with the package, then so be it.  like the name of my blog says...this is not a dating website. no monthly fees. no awkward first dates. because i already did that for you! :-)