sweet lady.

i met joel in a bar close to my house. a place i usually frequent when i want to people watch. he was very loud, maybe because of the environment we were in- "i'm here, you don't have to yell boy", was the first thing i said. he was funny, attentive and courteous. aren't most men when they first meet you? i didn't give him much thought, but we exchanged numbers. he said he lived across town and would be nice to see me again. and so we did a few days later.

our first date was dinner and a movie. classic and lame at the same time. we saw a clichéd horror movie. a slasher film. i guess it was ok for a first date-creepy enough to keep me interested, but not too scary to run me away thinking i'd see joel's face next weekend on america's most wanted. after the movie, we went our separate ways.

we would talk on the phone 3-4 times a day; texts were even more. valentine's day was fast approaching and i was all excited about having a date for V Day! so the day came, and out of the blue my car was acting up. "oh crap!"-i was so upset that i almost blew my v day date. i tend to get aggravated by the smallest things. joel-being the gentleman that he was-asked me to meet him at a gas station nearby. i didn't think much of it-until i got there.

there he was. waiting to save me. we were at a car shop. he managed to get my car serviced while we went on our v day adventure! right then and there i was swept off of my feet! "why is he doing this? i don't know how much this is going to cost me, oh my god!"- i kept second guessing his good intentions. but i never showed him. i even texted one of my friends and her words were "let him do that for you. enjoy it. there's nothing wrong". i kinda agreed, but still-i never had a guy "take care" of me that way. we went on and enjoyed our date. best valentine's day ever!

we continued our "friendship". joel would bring gifts every now and then. now, "i was liking this"-i kept reminding myself. but like everything in life, joel was too good to be true. i was starting to fall for a guy that was "in a situation" like he put it. he wasn't married-he had a child with someone that "didn't pay much attention" to him, but still had feelings for. once i heard this, i knew this wasn't going anywhere. men in "situations" are usually looking for an escape, but with no intentions of seeking a way out. i started to become a little manipulative. who am i kidding? any girl would love to have a guy that caters to her! but joel wasn't feeling my newfound "attitude". he didn't want to be with no one that mirrored his baby's mother. and so joel disappeared. one day,usual morning call. joel had changed his number. without saying a word.

was it my fault? i think so. i became something he didn't see when he met me. i became someone he wasn't looking for. i don't blame him. i wasn't the sweet lady he met and showered with attention. i wouldn't have settled for that either.