my cake and eat it too?

ralph was the perfect guy. when i say perfect, i mean perfect. for a lot of people he wasn't but he was for me. the first time we went out-he took me to a mexican place. i guess he really knew how to get on my good side. you know i love me a good bowl of endless chips and salsa! :-)

we wouldn't see eye to eye on many things, but he went out of his way to make me happy. ralph was doing everything he could, but in this case i was the bad guy.

i told ralphie from day one that i wasn't interested in him "like that". my heart was set on someone else and i knew we could always be friends. now that i think back, i said that because i knew we were going to get deep into our "friendship". we were going to get emotionally involved and then there was no going back.

we would argue about trivial stuff almost every day. he didn't want to waste his time talking to "just a friend". he wanted more but i didn't. 

so we decided to part ways.

3 months later-we are talking again. so we go out for dinner. guess where? yep-mexican! :-P

this time he was on a mission. he was determined to do whatever it took to be with me. he said and i quote "i can give you all you want". i was still in oblivion. i was hung up on someone else. 

bad news came. that one dude i was so into-came clean with his current situation and our future. in other words, he wasn't seeing or talking to me anymore. :-(

who was there for me to talk and lean on? ralph. now, i was looking for him. now i wanted to be with him.

but it was too late. i was hurting him. he said i needed someone better than him. i said he was good enough. 

to make the long story short, he disappeared. no more calls or texts. i wanted my cake and eat it too. but i was left empty-handed. i guess i earned this one.